Testimonials and Our Story

Kinkalonian Mythology

This is our account of how the Kinkalow cats took their position as “pet”  here on earth….

The Kinkalows are a species as old as the center of the Earth.  The Kinkalows were once revered and held dominion over the center of the Earth.  The center of the Earth was known as Felix Felicis.  (The Latin words for "lucky, happy, or fortunate.")  The Romans recognized the power of the Kinkalows and based their language on that spoken by the Kinkalows.  They knew the Kinkalows were revered, therefore, only the elite Romans spoke true Kinkalonian, the commoners spoke vector Latin. 

* Small tip~the Kinkalows now find it insulting to be named Felix* 

But this was all before Dogma happened.  Dogma rose as a powerful dogtator (dictator).  Dogma's fur was as black as his heart and just as ragged. Un-soft fur meant impurity to the Kinkalows.  You will find that all Kinkalows have soft fur.  But the most unsavory quality of Dogma was his size; he was huge.  Since Felix Felicis was in the center of the earth it was a rather small place, so all of its inhabitants were small.  The smallest of all were the Kinkalows.  But the Kinkalows weren't small to conserve space; they were small because they were the keepers of Luck, and as we all know Luck is only good when it comes in small doses so it is appreciated. 

After Dogma took over they became even smaller because Luck was in short supply. And then....their ears kinked.  All cat species are descendants from the ancient Kinkalows, but as you can see the common cats are taller, because they do not hold Luck.  More importantly the ears of a common cat are straight.  The Luck of the kinkalows entered and left through the tips of their ears.  When they were straight the Luck just ran off, like water off of crystal.  When the ears became kinked it meant that the Kinkalows now had to choose when to dispense their Luck. (translation- Kinkalows....Kinked ears; Low to the ground) 

After Dogma came to power no more Luck was made.  Luck is a very hot substance, which is why Kinkalows are always warm.  When Dogma took over, he enslaved the Kinkalows.  He forced them to give their Luck to only him.  When a brave Kinkalow refused, Dogma milked it of all it's Luck.  When a Kinkalow dispensed all of its Luck it died.  Dogma was a murderer.  But little did he know that the last drop of Luck a Kinkalow gives was the most powerful.  Dogma killed many Kinkalows, and so got many powerful drops of Luck.  But Dogma was evil and the Luck a Kinkalow gives is a gift, a pure gift.  Dogma corrupted the Luck.  So the Luck turned bad.  It ravaged all of Felix Felicis, turning it to lava (remember-luck is hot) Dogma.  Though it destroyed Felix Felicis, its heat melted the cage the Kinkalows were in, thus freeing them. 

Seeing that their beautiful city was merely a skeleton of its old splendor, and knowing that the ghosts of their brave brothers would forever haunt them; they chose to journey to a place no other Kinkalow had ever been.  The outside of the Earth.  This is when the Kinkalows stopped speaking.  Their grief over their brothers and city was much to bear, therefore, they stopped speaking out kindness to whomever lived Topside.  They knew the story they could tell were so horrible it would cause sadness to descend over the Topside.  So the final Kinakalows made a vow of silence, so that they would always remember what had happened, and so that we would never have to.  And in all their ancient glory they trudged to our world.   

The Kinkalows never sought dominion over the Topside.  Now the Kinkalows choose their own master.  If a human is Lucky enough to be chosen by a Kinkalow, then that human must always be kind to the Kinkalow.  Kinkalows can no longer look at our hearts to see if we are good because they have found that all humans hold evil within them.  The only way a human can show that it is pure is by being kind to all.  But beware mere human, if a Kinkalow was ever forced into servitude again then all the Kinkalows would disappear in a puff of dust and our world will be ravaged by corrupted Luck, just as it was all those years ago.   

Author: Courtney Hoskins ~ a human lucky enough to be owned by a Kinkalow